Originally Aired: May 1, 2008
Written by: Robert Carlock & Jack Burditt
Directed by: Don Scardino

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Summary: LIZ’S (TINA FEY) EX-BOYFRIEND FLOYD (GUEST STAR SNL’S JASON SUDEIKIS) RETURNS TO NEW YORK WHILE JACK’S (ALEC BALDWIN) DAYS WITH GE MAYBE NUMBERED. IT’S SANDWICH DAY AT “TGS,” AND THE SANDWICH SHOP LOCATION IS KEPT TIGHTLY GUARDED BY THE TEAMSTERS. RIP TORN AND BRIAN DENNEHY ALSO GUEST STAR.

Liz (Fey) gets a phone call from her ex-boyfriend Floyd (guest star Sudeikis), whose flight has been cancelled and needs a place to stay overnight. After a decision by the Board of Directors’, Jack is demoted down to the 12th floor causing him to question his future with the company. Meanwhile, it’s Annual Sandwich Day at TGS, and the Teamsters give delicious sandwiches to the staff from a mysterious sandwich shop in Brooklyn. Liz is furious when her sandwich is stolen forcing Tracy (Tracy Morgan), Kenneth (Jack McBrayer), Jenna (Jane Krakowski) and Frank (Judah Friedlander) to uncover the secret location from the Teamsters lead by Mickey J (guest star Brian Dennehy). Scott Adsit, Lonny Ross and Maulik Pancholy also star. Rip Torn, Jason Sudeikis and Brian Dennehy guest star. (NBC)

Promotional Pictures: High Quality

Quotes:

Jack: Hello? Hillary Clinton is president, sir! … I thought I would just try to scare you out of it.

Jack: I’ve been stripped of all my responsibilities. Ostracized. This morning I had to cut my own cantaloupe!

Liz: The craziest thing happened this morning. I was home on my treadmill and the phone rings, and you will not believe who it was.
[Flashback]
Floyd: Liz? It’s Floyd.
[End Flashback]
Jenna: Oh my god, Floyd called?!
Pete: You were using your tread mill?!

Liz: His flight on JetFun got canceled.
Pete: JetFun is that the one with the foot baths?
Jenna: Oh no that’s AirBike. They also have in-flight pornos and NBC news. JetFun’s the one that hands out fresh popcorn.

Liz: I haven’t seen Floyd since he left for Cleveland. The last time I tried to get in touch with him, some rust-belt tramp answered the phone and now he’s here. And I don’t know what “crash” means.

Liz: I want to top dog for once, instead of just dog.

Jenna: You need to pretend you’re doing great.
Liz: I am doing great!
Pete and Jenna: Oh…

Liz: For once I’m not going to be Jan Brady. I’m going to be Marsha, Damn it! [Gets hit with football] Ow! My nose!

Liz: Look out Floyd, there’s a new Liz and …*sniffs* Oh Sandwich Day!

Frank: They buy us these sandwiches. Oh such sandwiches! And the dipping sauce!! Oh joy! God bless us, everyone!

Jack: I wish you the very best with the office, Kathy. By the way, you know who hates unicorns? Mark Wahlberg.

Jack: I’ve been sleeping with the Cindy Crawford of corporations for the last 22 years. What am I supposed to do? Lie down with some skank like 3M?
Jonathan: What about Washington? I’m sure your friends in the Bush Administration would…
Jack: Bush?! Has it gotten that bad? Good God, I’d rather work for an American car company than jump on that sinking ship.

Jonathan: I made you this.
Jack: No you didn’t.

Jonathan: [Singing] I will remember you. Will you remember me? Doobie do doobbie do. Don’t let your life pass you by.

Liz: I got a company wide email from the new CEO that was just a link to cats wearing bowties?

Liz: Why are you going to 12?
Jack: 12? Did I hit 12? I wanted 40 12, which is 52, which is where I work. Business.

Tracy: Look, Lutz is still eating!
Frank: You’re savoring it?! You think you’re better than us?!

Lutz: Since my surgery, I have to eat slowly or my insides might explode.
Tracy: Give me it!
[Lutz shoves the sandwich in his mouth]
Lutz: Oh! It’s like knives!

Frank: Taking Liz’s food is not good.
[Flashback]
Liz: Where’s my mac and cheese?!!? [Flips over table]
[End Flashback]

Floyd: Wow. You look great!
Liz: Do I? I’m pretty tired from playing as hard as I work.

Floyd: Can I take you out to dinner. Maybe we could hit that BBQ place you puked at.
Liz: You’ll have to be more specific.

Liz: Where’s my sandwich!?!?!

Kenneth: This is all my fault Ms Lemon, because I let it happen. And the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil, is for a good man to do nothing.
Tracy: Please ask me my permission before you quote me, Kenneth.

Liz: I don’t know how, but you’re going to get me another sandwich. Or I’m gonna cut your face up so bad, you’ll have a chin! You’ll all have chins!!!

Jack: It’s me again sir. I thought you might like to know that it’s snowing out. The city all silent and white. WAKE UP! WAKE UP!

Floyd: There was actually a tornado in Cleveland last week. Destroyed and entire city block; 3 bowling alleys a liquor store and the liquor store museum.

Liz: Did you know that it’s 4:30? I haven’t stayed up this late since college.
[Flashback]
Liz: And behind this trap door, more orcs! That will really piss off Semihr.

Liz: What does New York have that Cleveland doesn’t have? I read that you guys are getting an IKEA.
Floyd: I’ll believe it when I see it. We’ve just been burned before.

Liz: Now turn and look back at me. Thattaboy.! Eat it up, Cleveland.

Liz: Oh god! Youths!

Jack: I even stopped to catch a snowflake with my tongue, but apparently that’s some signal in Chelsea.

Jack: What happened to your voice?
Doctor: I was struck by lighting as a child. They made a movie about me.

Radio: After last nights freak snow storm, it’s 98 and humid. In other global warming news a tornado hit Detroit and put out several fires.

Jenna: How did it go with Floyd?
Liz: The poor guy got Lemoned, hard. Started babbling about how he wished he never left New York.
Jenna: Did you do that thing I showed you?
Liz: No, Jenna, I did not come back from the bathroom and hand him my underwear.
Jenna: That’s how I met that mobster.

Floyd: Crone!

Tracy: [dancing] That old soft shoe, is coming around the bend.
Teamster: That’s enough. That’s enough. Now you two, kiss. You with the sport coat, you’re to girl.

Lutz: I know what driving the long haul is like. After my junior year at Oberlin, we road tripped to South by Southwest!

Teamster: You have to earn that information, girls. On our terms, in competition.
Kenneth: Bible trivia?
Teamster: Drinking contest, here, tonight.

JetFun Attendant: Oh no no no the airline is cancelled. We’re not an airline anymore.
Floyd: One storm? That’s all it took?
JetFun Attendant: We’re still gonna make popcorn, just no more airplanes. I’m sorry.

Floyd: A Band-Aid just fell out of your hair.

Liz: Who was that bitch that answered the phone 8 months ago!?
Floyd: Woah!

Liz: So this girl, what’s her lower back tattoo? A Chinese character that she thinks means peace, but really means “I have chlamydia.”

Jenna: A drinking contest? What am I 12 and at my boyfriends frat party?

Frank: We need you, Jenna. Lutz can’t drink because of his operation. Kenneth doesn’t drink.
Kenneth: Drinking’s against my beliefs, like gambling or freeway driving.
Tracy: And I can’t drink. I still got my Hollywood sock on.
Frank: And I can’t have booze because I’m on antibiotics after having some skanky club sex.
Lutz: He’s on antibiotics because he lost his lucky penny and assumed it fell in his ear again.
Frank: Shut up, Lutz! You’re surgery was for an un-descended testicle.
Lutz: Wrong again! It was for two un-descended testicles!

Jenna: I’ll do it. But only for the attention.

Frank: Can you make those Teamsters tell us where they get those sandwiches.
Jack: Only if you beat them in a drinking contest. It’s in their contract.

Liz: I’m a bitch. I’m a lover. I’m a child. I’m a MOTHER! Floyd?!

Liz: You cell phone was dead! You faked that email. Peter Venkman, that’s from Ghostbusters! You used Ghostbusters for evil!

Floyd: I don’t know what woman you’re talking about. I’m single. I’m a lawyer. I wear nice coats. I’m the Michael Clayton of Cleveland.
Liz: Well I hope your car blows up!

Floyd: I asked you to come to Cleveland with me, you nut job!
Liz: I’ll move to Cleveland, when you guys get that IKEA, never.
Floyd: Don’t you deprive the good people of Cleveland and IKEA. You are vindictive Liz Lemon!

Jenna: Oh come on you guys, you guys do one. I’ve done 10 shots.
Frank: You’ve only had 5 shots.
Jenna: No today. I’ve had 10 shots today.

Frank: I found my lucky penny; it’s not in my ear.
Tracy: Batteries dead! I got a half hour before they track me down.
Kenneth: Alcohol?! This smells just like hill people milk. I’ve been drinking this since I was a baby!

Jack: So should I ask why you’re showing up for work at 6:30?
Liz: I’m not going to lie to you, Jack. I…was working from home.
Jack: Lemon, we should talk.
Liz: Fine, Floyd was in town, and it was awful, and it started out great and then it was awful, and now it’s over.
Jack: What happened?
Liz: He lied about going to the airport?
Jack: And?
Liz: And I said I hope he dies in a car explosion.

Jack: You never know when someone’s going to slip into a coma, and leave you regretting all the things you didn’t get to say, or get in writing from the companies lawyers. What I’m trying to say is, you’re “young” and you haven’t blown it completely, so don’t start now.

Liz: I just need to catch up with this guy before he gets on a plane to Cleveland.
Security: That’s sort of a cliché.
Liz: You’re sort of a cliché.
Security: One way ticket to Montreal. Crazy eyes. I should detain you.

Security: Just leave the sandwich and go though.
Liz: Leave the sandwich?! Leave the sandwich.

Security: You’re choosing a sandwich over a guy. That’s less clichéd.
Liz: I can do it! I can have it all!

Liz: I don’t want you’re car to explode. And I don’t want you to go into a coma. And I don’t want to stab you in the face with a giant fork.
Floyd: What?
Liz: Oh that’s not you. I’ve been threatening a lot of people lately.

Liz: I came to the airport didn’t I? And I wolfed my teamster sub for you!
Floyd: Wait, no, is that a saying?

Ratings: 3.4/5 5.41 Million Viewers. Weekly Rank:__

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