Originally Aired: November 8, 2007
Written by: John Pollack
Directed by: Don Scardino

Summary: As part of a GE-wide green initiative, Jack (Alec Baldwin) has come up with the idea of creating a green mascot for NBC - a Philly Fanatic-looking character named Greenzo. When Greenzo’s eco-friendly preachiness gets obnoxiously out of hand in The Girlie Show offices, and during a press tour appearance, it’s Liz (Tina Fey) who gets fed up the most with this ridiculous character. At the same time, Kenneth (Jack McBrayer) is planning his annual house party, a boring little soiree where Liz has been the only one who ever showed up in the past. Tracy (Tracy Morgan) wants the party to be a success for Kenneth, so he spreads a few little rumors to get the event hopping. What starts out as simple office gossip, gets out of control. Also stars Jane Krakowski, Lonny Ross, Judah Friedlander, Scott Adsit, Katrina Bowden, and Maulik Pancholy. With special guest stars Al Gore, Meredith Vieira and David Schwimmer.

Promotional Pictures: High Quality

Quotes:

Liz: Hey, I found your lipstick.
Jenna: Oh no, this isn’t mine. This is Sunset Blush. I wear Tiger Orgasm.

Liz: I don’t know why I told you about the Pop-tart.

Jenna: The only reason men start taking care of themselves, is that they’re getting someone to have sex with them. If it wasn’t for that, they’d just sit at home in their own filth.
Frank: Hey Liz, we’re out of string cheese, so I think I’m going to take off.

Jack: It’s part of our new company wide global initiative. We’re going green, Lemon. And do you know why?
Liz: To save the earth?
Jack: So we can drain the remainder of its resources.

Jack: Don Geiss is a genius. He’s pitting all the division of the companies against each other to see who can make the most money from this environmentalism trend. And I am going to win with…
Greenzo: Greenzo!
[Liz laughs]
Greenzo: Saving the Earth while maintaining profitability.

Jack: That’s right Jared. Greenzo is America’s first non-judgmental business friendly global advocate.
Greenzo: The free market will solve global warming! If that even exists.
Jack: My boy!
Liz: Greenzo? Is that first name that came to your head?
Jack: Can you believe it? I just [snaps] popped right in there.
Liz: Wow.

Greenzo: My last real job was an ad for Rick Lazio’s New York Senate campaign.
[Commercial]
Jared: Hillary Clinton, wants an all homosexual army. How will that affect my family?

Greenzo: Oh wow! The Today Show! Aww, I just wish my mom was still alive, so I could rub it in her fat face!

Tracy: How can no one go to Ken’s party? He’s such a great dude.
Liz: Will you come? Please?
Tracy: No I can’t. I only go to A list events.

Tracy: All a hot party needs is mystique. A buzz. You see people are like lemmings. Harvey Lemmings, my lawyer. Who never misses a party.
Liz: That’s not a real person. You made that up.

Greenzo: Did you hear what Mary said about me saving the world? Sorry everyone, that’s Meredith Virea.

Jack: The Today Show wants us to give us a recurring segment now. Lemon, I want you to write them up. I want the sketches to be punchy and entertaining, so don’t treat it like your show.
Liz: Ok, but only cause I like earth.

Greenzo: I’d like to sit in and give notes. Make sure it’s got that Greenzo voice. It’s wry and wise, but also sexual.

Jack: Look how Greenzo’s testing. They love him in every demographic; Colored people, broads, commies, fairies, gosh we got to update these forms.

Jack: Don Geiss sent me a personal card congratulating me, with a real signature!
Liz: Wow, if you like the envelope you could clone him and then you’d have two Geisses.
Jack: Yeah right, Lemon, I’m going to clone Geiss then compete with a Geiss clone for the CEO position? Think it through.

Liz: Ah! Goon!
Kenneth: Ms Lemon, Mr. Donaghy, I am just a simple pig farmer’s son, but I would be honored if you’d come to a party at my home.
Liz: Alright fine I’ll come.
Kenneth: Super! Mr. D?
Jack: Uh, no. I could make up some excuse, Kenneth, but I have to much respect for you. During your party I’ll be home listening to some Schubert and ironically viewing some Canadian pornography.

Kenneth: I hope you’re ready to party like it’s 1999! Which according to my Bible will be in 7 years.

Liz: You’re married. Remember, Pete? Your beautiful wife Paula? And your sons, Robert, and Jack. And that creepy little one who’s always rubbing himself against the carpet?

Liz: Aw great! Now I smell like midlife crisis!

Greenzo: Here’s a tip, Cerie. Decide what you want, before you open the refrigerator. You just released enough hydroflorocarbons to kill a penguin. This penguin.

Frank: Do you ever take off your costume?
Greenzo: Do you ever take off yours? Greenzo out!

Cerie: Did he just talk to me like I’m ugly?

Frank: I’m telling you Cerie, it is going to be awesome. TI. Fallout Boy. Foxy Boxing!
Cerie: Sounds hot. But I have my four girl cousins visiting from Holland this week. Do you think you could get them in?
Frank: I’ll die a thousand deaths before I fail you!
Cerie: They get so drunk.

Jenna: Are bare feet in now or do you just have your shoes off?

Jonathan: T.I. is going to be there!
Jack: Bob Logan from Texas Instruments is going to be there?! Logan must be in contention for the CEO spot as well.
Jonathan: Sir, if there’s any chance that Mr. Geiss is going to be at this party…
Jack: Duh. Thanks Jonathan. You think I should try to go?

Greenzo: Hey did you leave your computer on all night.
Liz: Yeah, it just takes a real long time to reboot in the morning.
Greenzo: Huh. Hey you know what else takes a long time? Building a new earth!

Greenzo: You act like you care, but you do nothing. Do you even bother to compost your own feces?
Liz: Look, I got a lot of real work that I have to do right now. So I’m not really interested in having some actor lecture me.
Greenzo: Are you saying actors can’t change the world? I guess nobody bothered to tell Sharon Stone!

Greenzo: What’s in that Styrofoam cup huh? The earth’s blood?!
[Coffee spills on Liz]
Liz: Uh! You Jag! I just got this, like 8 years ago!

Greenzo: Good job, leave all the lights on for the invisible people?

Liz: Why is there a pop-trat in the bed?! What do you do with the pop-tart?!

Tracy: I love Foxy Boxing! It combines my two favorite things; boxing and referees.

Tracy: Get me Harvey Lemmings!
Liz: Dummy! First of all you didn’t dial that cell phone. Second of all, that is your own rumor. People are going to show up expecting all those great stuff, and they’re going to end up disappointed and angry.
Tracy: Just like Colonial Williamsburg.

Cerie’s Cousin: [Speaking Dutch] I’m just horny to be in New York

Kenneth: I don’t understand what’s happening!

Jack: The point is I have good news. I may be able to stop by now.
Kenneth: Oh Mr. Donaghy, you don’t to go to my silly party.
Jack: Oh, so, that’s the way you want to play this? Whip them out, measure them? Kenneth, as an Executive Vice-President of General Electric, I am ordering you to give me on of those pink cupcakes.
Kenneth: Sir, I would love it if you came to my party.
Jack: Yeah, you would.

Greenzo: Hey kids? Can you hold your breath? Good! Now do it forever.

Meredith Viera: You know Greenzo, I read that television sets actually draw power even when they’re turned off.
Greenzo: Wow! Meredith just taught us a very important lesson kids; It’s rude to interrupt people.

Greenzo: Can Greenzo get real here for a second? Did you know that there are people out there with the power to heal mother Gaia? But they are too paralyzed with greed? I’m talking about big companies and their two-faced fat cat executives.
Jonathan: [Runs in] Aaaghaa! What is he doing!?
Jack: Stay calm.
Greenzo: Did you kids know that we could actually end global warming in 5 years, if we raise taxes on the super rich by 2%?
Liz: Wow, is that true?
Jonathan: It doesn’t matter if it’s true! He works hard for that money.

Jack: We lost control of Greenzo. I knew we should have gone with Angie Harmon.

Pete: Obviously what happened in your bed last night was a violation.
Liz: So much hair!

Pete: No no Liz, I can’t move out. Look, Paula and I got married our sophomore year. She was pregnant 20 minutes into our first date. This is the first chance we’ve had just to be a couple. And our relationship has never been better. We did it on your kitchen table! I shouldn’t have told you that.

Greenzo: Did you catch me on Today, Jack? Merry was totally into me. Dude, have you hit that?

Greenzo: When I die, they’ll want to put my face on money. If there were money in the future instead of just hugs.

Jack: Ok, listen to me Redzo! You either get on board or you’ll wake up on that island with Phil Donahue and the electric car!

Jack: You’re fired!
Greenzo: Really? Can you fire the wind, Jack? Can you fire a hurricane?!
Jack: We’re developing that technology!

Liz: Is this party still on?
Toofer: Oh it better be. The Harlem Globetrotters are going to be there.
Frank: The girl from Heroes is going to take a shower.
Jack: Oh wow.

Liz: You kiss me Grizz! You kiss me!

Kenneth: Y’all should be ashamed of yourselves. Mr. Lutz, you ate all of my parakeets medication. And thanks to you, Sonny Crocket’s been having seizures all morning. Mr. Hornberger, I would thank you to come pick up your wife at some point. Mr. Jordan, I saw you steal my sink. Harlem Globetrotter, does that name mean nothing to you? And Ms. Lemon, I’ll have you know that before last night I had never ever seen Grizz or Dot Com cry.
Liz: [whispering to Grizz] I’m sorry!

Jack: The Today show is expecting another Greenzo segment. Don Geiss is expecting it. It’s gonna happen.
Liz: But you fired Jared. Who’s gonna…Oh my god that’s Al Gore. Is he going to be the new Greenzo?
Jack: Not exactly I may have gotten him here under false pretenses.

Al Gore: Hey Jack, good to see you again.
Jack: Mr. Vice President.
Al Gore: Hi. How are you?
Liz: I’m Lemon.

Al Gore: I’m excited to see this trash powered car of yours.

Liz: How do you two even know each other?
Al Gore: We met when Jack was an intern for Senator Ted Kennedy. Let me tell you, Jack was the most liberal guy…
Jack: Ah dit dit dit dit dit dit.

Greenzo: Back off Jack! Or you’ll be Greenzoed! You’ll all be Greenzoed!!

Liz: I’m so sorry Mr. Vice President. This all started when Jack…
Al Gore: Quiet! A whale is in trouble. I have to go!

Liz: Oh boy. Ok. This earth is ruined! We got to get a new one!

Ratings: 4.1/6 6.61 Million Viewers. Weekly Rank: 62nd

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