Originally Aired: April 24, 2008
Written by: Andrew Guest & John Riggi
Directed by: Gail Mancuso

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Summary: (NBC) DON GEISS (GUEST STAR RIP TORN) CONFIDES TO JACK (ALEC BALDWIN) THAT HE WILL BE NAMED THE NEW GE CHAIRMAN, AND JACK NAMES A NEW SUCCESSOR TO HIS POSITION. WILL ARNETT AND CHRIS PARNELL ALSO GUEST STAR. Don Geiss (Torn) decides to name Jack (Baldwin) his successor as the Chairman of GE, over Jack’s rival, and Geiss’ future son-in-law Devin Banks (guest star Will Arnett). Jack, in turn, chooses Liz (Tina Fey) as his successor because she “always has his back,” and he can trust her. However, a shocking turn of events involving Geiss’ health jeopardizes Jack’s promotion. Meanwhile, Tracy (Tracy Morgan) realizes that his son did not invite him to ‘Bring Your Dad To School Day’ and thinks that he is embarrassed by his career. Also stars Jack McBrayer, Scott Adsit, Judah Friedlander and Keith Powell. Rip Torn, Will Arnett and Chris Parnell guest star.

Promotional Pictures: High Quality

Quotes:

Jack: I’d have my assistant sit on his “Naughty Stool” if he didn’t love it so much.

Don Geiss: I was just admiring your Bulb cover.

Devon Banks: Fire Island? Really? I’d love to come out. Fight the surf together. Light a fire, check each other for ticks.

Dong Geiss: Hanging in there while so many others cracked under the pressure, like Bob Duncan.
Jack: The head of the Stress Ball Division hanged himself…

Don Geiss: Congratulations! You’re going to run this company!
Jack: Oh my God! Oh thank you! I told myself I wasn’t going to do this! Oh happy day!

Don Geiss: You get one cry in life, you’ve chosen well.

Jack: When will this be made public, sir? I want my mother to know this before she dies so she can go to her grave a defeated woman.

Don Geiss: Word of advice: Whoever you choose, it’s got to be somebody you trust.
Jack: Well that rules out the Federal Reserve. [Laughs!]

Liz: Oh you idiot with your stupid face! You look like Gene Simmons had sex with a basset hound!

Frank: First off all, the subject of the e-mail was “Check this out.” You expect me not to open that? And second of all, it is your fault, because if you hadn’t created this show, we wouldn’t even be here!
Lutz: Yeah. Liz sucks!

Liz: Do you think this is where I wanted to end up?! I had dreams! I was gonna live with the gorillas!

Kenneth: Is it the 8 of Diamonds?
Grizz: Nnnope. [it was]

Tracy: Pay attention to me! I’m in consolable!

Tracy: Tracy Jr. left his music stick at home.
Dot Com: His flute.

Tracy: [crying] If I’m such a bad dad, why are we all dancing.

Tracy: My son is ashamed of his father.
Kenneth: That’s horrible. Everyone knows the only thing we should be ashamed of is our bodies.

Tracy: I got to do something important so my children will respect me. Like be a Senator, or a wizard.
Dot Com: Or you can open a school in Africa like Oprah.
Tracy: Everyone calm down!

Tracy: Eureka!
Dot Com: What is it Tray?
Tracy: We should call Eureka! She always has good ideas.

Liz: Oh I was just reading about gorilla researchers, making fun of them. For devoting their lives to the jungle and it’s noble inhabitants.

Jack: Hugging… it’s so ethnic.

Jack: Geiss has stacked the Board of Directors with the most reliable collection of sycophantic yes men this side of an Al Franken book signing; his golf croainies, his army buddies, various unemployable family members, and his hunting dogs.

Jack: Why do I smell self tanning cream and teeth whitener? …Banks!

Jack: Devon, once they cast Clay Aiken in Spam-a-lot I knew it was only a matter of time before you’d show up.

Jack: Bachelor Party?
Devon: Indeed. The hottest girls from New York’s top boob shacks are moving their brassieres.

Liz: On my stage? No way!
Banks: Oh hey there little guy!

Jack: Nobody plays the game better than Banks. Stay clear of him, little buddy.

Tracy: And then after you carbonate it, you drink it.
Kenneth: Sounds like soda pop.

Tracy: Damn it! Why is leaving your children a legacy that will last forever so hard? It’s been almost half an hour!
Kenneth: Maybe we should take a break Mr. Jordan.
Tracy: Yeah I need to clear my thought-cicles.

Tracy: Which one of my two favorite past times should I indulge in? Video Games or Pornography? … … That it! I’ll make a porn video game!

Liz: Jack was no where near that meeting cause he was off with his girlfriend leaving me in charge! So take that…Liz…

Devon: That was so easy. Like taking candy from one of those guys who give out candy at gay night clubs.

Liz: Please don’t say anything. I’ll give you Kenneth!

Liz: He’ll also need to know about the security camera footage of you cheating on his daughter with another woman.
Devon: What? No. No! Not you!

Liz: You loved it!

Frank: A porn video game? It can’t be done. History’s greatest perverts have tried. Walt Disney, Larry Flint, the Japanese…

Tracy: Tell it to me in Star Wars.
Frank: Alright. We like R2D2 and C3PO.
Tracy: They’re nice.
Frank: And up here, we have a real person like Han Solo.
Tracy: He acts like he doesn’t care, but he does!
Frank: But down here we have a CGI Storm Trooper or Tom Hanks in the Polar Express.
Tracy: I’m scared! Get me out of there.

Tracy: I’m like Mozart. You’re like that guy who was always jealous of Mozart.
Frank: Salieri?
Tracy: No thank you. I already ate.

Liz: To get though it, I pretended like he was a sandwich.

Liz: What? When did you get microwaves back?

Jack: This is the starting salary.
[Liz slaps him.]

Liz: Suck it monkeys! I’m going corporate!

Liz: Hey guys, lets change the game to sucking at golf so Donaghy has something to talk about.

Liz: I feeling pretty drunk.
Jack: It’s business drunk. It’s like real drunk. Either way it’s legal to drive.

Jack: You’re first executive decision and you’ve already saved this company 2 million dollars in future R&D.

Jack: I think you’re ready to meet the old man.
Liz: Jeez Jack; offer to buy a girl dinner first.
Executive: Classic Lemon!

Tracy: My genius has come alive, like toys when you’re back is turned!

Tracy: I see the potential for erotica in everything around me. This cup! This table! Even you Kenneth.
Kenneth: Well I am wearing a cuffed trouser today.

Pete: Tracy, what are you doing? They need you in wardrobe!
Tracy: I’m inventing a porn video game!
Pete: Let this man work! No one is to disturb him!

Liz: Hey nerds, guess who has two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn’t cried once today? This moui!

Liz: This is your starting salary.
[Pete slaps her.]

Kenneth: He can’t keep going like this. He was up for 6 hours straight!

Liz: Oh look at that looser. Sitting all alone and sad. He’s like me yesterday. I hate him.

Devon: I love how she enjoys crawling into cabinets, and vents, and other enclosed spaces. Like behind the dryer for instance!

Devon: Go ahead Donaghy, rub it in my face.
Jack: Normally I’d say, “I’d bet you liked that,” but today I won’t.

Devon: It’s like when Christian won Project Runway even though Rami was a better draper.

Liz: I think Geiss is dead.

Frank: I’ve given my whole life to porn! And he does it one day! One Day!

Jack: What’s wrong with him, Leo?
Dr. Spaceman: To the untrained eye, it looks like he’d appear to be, in what we call in the medical community, sleeping. But he is in a diabetic coma.

Dr. Spaceman: Ok, this is the gross part…

Dr. Spaceman: That shot was just a placebo.

Jack: Couldn’t you just inject something right into his heart?
Dr. Spaceman: I’d love too, but we have no way of knowing where the heart is. See, every human is different.

Jack: Don isn’t feeling well. He’s in a diabetic coma.

Liz: It was Jorgeson’s fault!

Dr. Spaceman: Was it 4-1-1 or 9-1-1? New York? … Uh? Diabetes repair. I guess?

Jack: Granted you almost killed Don Geiss, but lets not forget “Button Classic.”
Liz: Right. Button Classic. I crushed that.

Devon: I tried to call you. But not on a phone. So you might not have heard me.

Devon: I didn’t hear hand washing!

Ratings: 3.5/5  5.54 Million Viewers. Weekly Rank: #61

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2.14 - Sandwich Day»

 

 

 

 

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