Originally Aired: March 26, 2009
Written by: Robert Carlock
Directed by: Millicent Shelton

Summary: WHILE JACK’S (ALEC BALDWIN) 50TH BIRTHDAY INSPIRES HIM TO RECREATE HAPPY MOMENTS FROM HIS PAST, TRACY (TRACY MORGAN) DECIDES TO FULFILL A CHILDHOOD DREAM. DENNIS DUFFY (DEAN WINTERS) RETURNS WITH A HEARTFELT CONFESSION FOR LIZ (TINA FEY) AND SURPRISINGLY JENNA (JANE KRAKOWSKI) TOO.
While Jack (Baldwin) plans the perfect 50th birthday party for himself he watches old home videos that inspire him to recreate one of the happiest moments he had as a young boy. Liz’s (Fey) ex-boyfriend Dennis “The Beeper King” (Winters) decides to come clean to Liz about an addiction, stirring up drama between Liz and Jenna (Krakowski). Kenneth (Jack McBrayer) and Pete (Scott Adsit) team up to make Tracy’s (Morgan) childhood dream come true. Also stars Judah Friedlander, Keith Powell and Katrina Bowden.

Promotional Pictures: High Quality

Quotes:

Jack: What is that sound? Are you frying bacon?
Liz: No, it’s my new running shoes.
Jack: [laughs] Oh come on!

Liz: My mail’s been piling up and I keep forgetting to buy toilet paper.  So…
Jack: What’s that supposed to mean?
Liz: Nothing I’m coming.
Jack: Good.  And don’t wear that thing with the belt.
Liz: What thing with the belt?  Don’t have up!  I have a lot of belted outfits.

Tracy: I will be brief.  I have decided to fulfill my dream of going into space.  If you have a spaceship and are looking for a hilarious astronaut with an irregular heartbeat and 30 million dollars, I am prepared to leave as soon as tomorrow.

Dennis: Hello, Dummy.
Liz: No! Nope! Not interested.  Have a good life.

Dennis: This is important, it’s about my mom.
Liz: [Sighs and lets him in]
Dennis: That was a lie.

Dennis: Listen Elizabeth, I recently discovered that I’m a sex addict.
Liz: No you’re not.

Liz: I don’t want to hear about your job, Dennis.
Dennis: One word: coffee.  One problem: Where do you get it?
Liz: Anywhere!  You get it anywhere!

Dennis: Former sex partner, I’m sorry that my disease has made you a victim of my sexual charisma.  I’m sorry that I’ve ruined your for other men.

Liz: Have you seen this Tracy thing?
Jack: I’m aware of it.  I have a Google news alert for the phrase “Tracy Jordan ridiculous disaster.”

Jack: We’re on the phone with his assistant setting up a time for us to talk.
Jonathan: Well when do you expect him?
Grizz: I think he has till 4 in the morning.
Jonathan: You think or you know?
Grizz: Hang on I’m going into a tunnel. [Hangs up phone.]

Jack: My mother sent me a box of old Donaghy home movies.
Liz: For your birthday?  That’s sweet.
Jack: Not really, here’s the card that comes with it: “Jackie, here’s some of your junk that was taking up space my new boyfriend needed for his gold bags.  His name is Paul and he doesn’t want to meet you.

Liz: You threw up.
Jack: What?  As a kid you never got so excited you vomited?
Liz: No.  No one does that.  I mean, I’ve peed a little.
[Flashback]
Lutz: Help me!
Frank: His tie is stuck in the shredder!
Liz: I’m Lizzing!  I’m Lizzing!
[End Flashback]
Liz: Lizzing is a combination of laughing and whizzing.

Jack: Well if you want a good “Liz” read this.
Liz: What is it?
Jack: A list I made in the 5^th grade of things I wanted to do by the time I turned 50.
Liz: Oh my god this is adorable.  Go to Disneyland.  Ride in an airplane.  Kiss Peggy Flemming.
Jack: Done.  Done.  And oh boy, done.

Jack: Live in a house with stairs.  Beat up a Russian.  Hit mom with a car.  I wonder what that 10 year old would think if he could see himself now.  Fly on a plane?  I’ve flown on AirForce One.  Go to Disneyland?  Lemon, I’ve held Walt Disney’s frozen head in my hands.
Liz: That’s awesome.
Jack: I’ve danced with Queen Nor.  I hunted the most dangerous game; man. *Coughs* Excuse me, manatee.  I once shot a manatee.

Liz: There’s only one left; be friends with Batman.
Jack: There’s still a couple of hours.  Jonathan, could you get Adam West’s agent on the phone please.

Jenna: It’s funny I’ve actually played Peter Pan on Broadway.  Did you know there’s a Broadway Street in Tampa?

Jenna: I’m flying!  Oh my god!  Why are there so many dead doves up here?

Liz: Jenna’s phone.
Dennis: Hey Jenna.  It’s Dennis Duffy.
Liz: [Doing a British Jenna impression] Yes. Hello, this is Jenna.
Dennis: I betcha never thought you’d be hearing from me again, huh?
Liz: Yes really.  Why so ever would you be phoning me?
Dennis: With the help of Web MD, I was recently self diagnosed as a sex addict.

Liz: Forget it, Tracy.
Jack: Listen, Tracy, you can not go into space.  Your contract expressly prohibits dangerous activities like extreme sports or riding the subway on St. Patrick’s Day.
Tracy: What is this, Horseville?  Because I’m surrounded by Nay Sayers.  Word play!
Liz: That is solid.

Tracy: Look, when I was a kid growing up in the projects, I would look up at the stars and dream of going up into space.  Of escaping the slums.  Of killing an Ewok!

Jack: I don’t have friends at NASA, bunch of nerds!  You’re going to have to use your TV magic and fake a space launch for Tracy.
Liz: Ugh! I was going to go for a run today.
Jack: Oh. Ha ha.

Liz: You missed a call.
Jenna: Was it my doctor slash trainer?

Liz: Well Jenna, Dennis has been going around calling all the women he’s ever had sex with.
Jenna: Did you speak to him?
Liz: Yes.
Jenna: Did you pretend to be me?
Liz: I did.
Jenna: Did you do an impression of me?
Liz: Of course.
Jenna: Was it British?
Liz: It was.

Jenna: First of all, the reason I have some English inflection in my speech is because I lost my virginity to the My Fair Lady soundtrack.
Liz: Jenna…
Jenna: Second, you guys had broken up and Dennis and I were in a very emotional place because of Hurricane Katrina.

Liz: How long have we known each other?
Jenna: 15 years.  We met at that car dealership audition in Chicago.  You were trying to be an actress then, despite your neck.

Liz: Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Jenna: Yeah!  Let’s stab him.
Liz: Let’s give him a piece of our mind.
Jenna: Yeah, your thing.

Jack: You know I wore nothing but hand me downs until I was 12 years old.
Kenneth: I thought you were the oldest, sir.
Jack: Oldest boy.  Now look at me.
Kenneth: I already did.

Jack: Kenneth, I wonder what it’s like seeing the world through your eyes.
Kenneth: I dunno Mr. Donaghy.  I think I see the world pretty much the same as everyone else.
Puppet Jack: [Singing] I think you’re very special, Kenneth.  To be able to get so much joy from simple things simple…
Jack: Things.

Dennis: You can’t be mad at me either.  You know I mean I went to your apartment that night to look for you, to be with you…
Liz: Wait a minute, hang on, my apartment?
Jenna: Wait a minute I can explain that.  You had gone on that Over 30 Outward Bound trip to Arizona.  And you asked me to house sit.  Well Dennis came over, and as I mentioned we were both pretty torn up about Hurricane Katrina.
Dennis: What those people were doing to the Superdome.

Dennis: It was in your bed.
Liz: Oh guys, come on!  I eat in there!

Dennis: Not ok Liz, not ok.  You know what, I’m ranking you now.  Blondie, you’re #1.
Jenna: Thank you Dennis.
Liz: I don’t care!

Adam West: Ladies and gentlemen, I can’t stay long. I’m on a case.  The Penguin’s in town.

Jack: The closest I came to vomiting tonight was when I saw Ann Coulter’s shoulder blades.

Jack: I disagree.  I’m going to find out what’s inside that box.  I’m going to buy it with money.  And it is going to make me happy.  And if that doesn’t work, I’m going to Benjamin Button myself.
Liz: We’re not meeting in the middle!

Liz: Where’s Tracy?
Pete: In Cape Canaveral.  By which I mean through that door.  We told him he’d have to be blindfolded before launch to prevent Space Madness.
Liz: Sure.
Pete: And then we put him on the Channel 4 Weather Chopper for a couple hours.
Liz: And now he’s landed here in sunny Florida.  Well done, Hornberger!
Pete: As a child I dreamed of being a Congressmen like my father.  Now I do this.  … One DUI in high school…

Tracy: Computer, when do I get some Tang?  Also, I’m thirsty!  Hahaha Wordplay.

Jenna: I felt so jacked up on the way home that I threw a brick through the window of a Banana Republic.

Jack: If I learned anything from watching 24, you’re going to want to zoom in and enhance.

Wendy: You’re saying Apollo, Apollo, Apollo, oh my god you puked!  Why wouldn’t you warn me, I’m staring at your mouth!

Jenna: Even?  I can’t even look at you.  You know what, you’re no longer my plus one to the Canadian Grammys.

Tracy: I’m scared, but I’m also excited.  I’m Lizzing!  I’m Lizzing!

Kenneth: Mr. Jordan, how is space?
Tracy: Great wink Kenneth!  Space is very cold, but very beautiful, and sometimes sounds like Jenna yelling in the distance.

Liz: I want to make it up to you Jenna, what can I do?  How about on the next show you can do that song that they wouldn’t let you do at the Inauguration.
Jenna: No.  “Chocolate Rainbow” is too good for TGS.

Liz: It was a chat line for urban singles.
Jenna: And they only hired her because their first choice was deported.
Liz: Ok we’re even.  So, you will not find it.  Don’t try to…
Frank: I found it.  It’s on YouTube.
Lutz: I have a cable to hook the computer up to the TV!
Pete: Then shut your wet mouth and get that cable.  Get it!

Commercial: Don’t wait, call now.
Liz in Commercial: Hi.  I’m Bijou.  Call me.
Liz: I’ve since had Invisiline.
Liz in Commercial: Call us, in English, German or Polish.
1-900-OKFACE
Frank: That’s not even enough numbers!

Kenneth: What’s funny?  Oh is that Billy Jean King?

Frank: Oh god!  He’s mortal!
Lutz: What just happened!?

Liz: I’ll see you tomorrow, Jack.
Jack: I’ll see you tomorrow, Biju.

Ratings: 7.17 million viewers (4.3/7 Share. 3.4/8 in the demo.) Weekly Rank: #40

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