Originally Aired: April 16, 2009
Written by: Kay Cannon & Tracey Wigfield
Directed by: Don Scardino

Summary: SUSPENDED FROM WORK, LIZ (TINA FEY) MUST LEARN TO LIVE WITHOUT “”TGS.”
During a short-term suspension from work, Liz (Fey) is lost without “”TGS” and misses all the stress that comes with the job. In turn, she must find a way to occupy her free time. Meanwhile, when the film studio has second thoughts on releasing Jenna’s (Jane Krakowski) Janis Joplin biopic, Jack (Alec Baldwin) needs Jenna to create some promotional buzz using her celebrity status. Also stars Tracy Morgan, Jack McBrayer, Scott Adsit, Judah Friedlander and Katrina Bowden.

Promotional Pictures: High Quality

Quotes:

Liz: Excuse me, Mr. Weinerslave.
Jeffery: It’s pronounced “Weiner-slave.”
Liz: Ok…Jeffery…

Jack: Jenna, I need to speak with you.
Jenna: Jack, I did not hit that Asian page. I was just swinging my arm and she walked into me. Twice!

Jenna: Wait, we can call her Janis Joplin? We got the life rights? It’s not Janie Jimplin anymore?
Jack: It looks like neither name cleared. It looks like your character’s name is Jackie Jormp-Jomp.
Jenna: Oh, ok.

Jack: Sheinhartd Universal did some focus testing this week.
Jenna: We got a 100?!
Jack: You’re holding that upside down.
Jenna: Oh no.

Jenna: But what about my duet with Jimi Hendrickson at Woodstocks?
[Cut]
Jenna: [Singing] We’re all here at Woodstocks. Someday there’ll be a black President.

Jack: Jenna, Sheinhardt Universal does not want to release the picture.
Jenna: And how will that affect my Oscar chances.
Jack: Adversely.

Jack: Sing them Blues, White Girl: The Jackie Jormp-Jomp Story, has got to get some buzz. And I’m going to need your help for that.
Jenna: Do you need a sex tape release? Because I’ve got a weird one. It’s night vision and you can see that his buddy is robbing me.

Jenna: The Kids Choice Awards? Fine, I’ll set aside my feud with Raven Symone for one day. But she knows what she did…

Kenneth: Ms. Lemon, you aren’t supposed to be here. You’re on S-E-X probation.

Kenneth: Mr. Donaghy! Help! Rule breaking!
Jack: This is sad.

Jack: You know you’re supposed to go home after your pervert seminars.
Liz: I’m going, I just hate not being here!
Pete: You have to rehearse!
Tracy: No! Passive resistance! I learned that from Dr. King! I’m brave!

Jack: I feel for you. Remember that time I came back from the World Economic Forum with mono and missed a week of work, and I wanted to pull my hair out but I couldn’t because it was too thick?

Jack: You take that away we start bouncing off the walls. Spend our days jabbering at door men.
Liz: Hey, I brighten their day.

Liz: Before I go can I at least find out what Frank’s hat says?
Jack: Constant Craving.
Liz: He could do better!

Frank: Has anyone looked at this sexual harassment stuff they gave us?
Tracy: I don’t need to read it. The whole thing is loosely based on an evening I spend with Isaiah Thomas.

Frank: Have you read this?
Kenneth: Well I wanted to because it’s full of rules. But Ms. Vieira made me throw it away and said ‘pretty boys like me shouldn’t be filling their heads with rules.’

Kenneth: Ugh! Ms. Vieira!

Liz: Of course my job is annoying, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love it. I’m sure your job can be annoying. Not all the tenants are as fun as me. I get it. Hey, would you mind if I bought a chair down here?

Liz: Yes, my job is stressful, very stressful. But in the end I get paid to make people laugh. We have a saying that laughter is the best medicine. So I’m kind of like a doctor here. Like you were in Poland.

Liz: We have a show tonight. I’ve never missed a show. Even when I had that virus they kept saying only raccoons get. Hey I picked up some Polish you guys. [Speaks Polish] Please shut up, Lady!

Emily: I’m Emily. Are you new to the building?
Liz: No, I’m Liz. I’ve lived here for 4 years. I normally work long crazy hours. But I’m on leave for normal reasons.

Liz: Right now I should be standing in a toilet stall so nobody bothers me while I eat lunch. God I miss it!

Jack: I am not your immediate supervisor. There are maybe 40 people between us. Pete for instance.
Kenneth: Oh I just don’t trust Mr. Hornberger. He has a ridge on the section of skull associated with deviousness.

Kenneth: When I watch her dance, my heart skips a beat. And not just because of my acute Dentralitis.

Jack: You’re dating one of the dancers?
Kenneth: Oh no sir. I haven’t spoken to her yet. But I have a long term plan to marry her. And I wanted the company to be aware of my intentions.
Jack: I see. I’ll be sure to mention that at the next board meeting.

Kenneth: I don’t know if this is harassment, but somebody at the Today Show made me eat an unripened banana in front of her.

Liz: This is like your version of sweat pants and poptarts? Not too shabs.
Woman 1: Short for “shabby” hilarious!
Emily: This could you life too Liz. Just short the housing market.
Woman 2: Or write a cookbook specifically for mixed race children.
Woman 3: Or marry a rich guy who dies. Clive I want to say?
Woman 1: Or have mild lupis and great insurance.

Jenna: I’m prepared to do a nipple slip if you need it.

Ethan: Hi, I’m Ethan from Nick Magazine. Who’s mom are you?

Ethan: Dora the Explorer’s back pack! Backpack, is Map in you tonight?

Kenneth: Here’s your lunches gentlemen. Dot Com, I forgot to get you extra mustard.
Tracy: All right enough! This fighting stops now!

Kenneth: He’ll never get mustard! Except for the mustard that comes with the sandwich.

Kenneth: Sir, before Ms. Lemon left I promised her I wouldn’t let you start any adventures.

Tracy: Yeah well Liz Lemon’s in jail now.

Tracy: Are you Daphne? Yeah, you’re fired.

Jenna: First a backpack upstages me, then the paparazzi kept calling me Dena Lohan, and now the Cyrus family has decided to rock a bunch of funky hats.

Jack: You can’t give up now. Did Jackie Jormp-Jomp give up when those vampires attacked Woodstocks?

Helen Mirren: You got me. And now we take a moment to remember those we lost this year in the Kid Entertainment industry.

Jenna: Was that me? Did they just say I’m dead? I thought you spoke to the producers?

Jack: You being dead is the best thing that ever happened to this movie. Jenna, I want to Tupac you.
Jenna: Fine, but I have to pee first.

Jenna: Die young and become a legend. Just like Janis. Or Rusty the Bear from the Magicals.

Jenna: Oh I can play dead. I watched my whole church group get eaten by a bear.

Jeffery: Ok, any questions for me?
Liz: Just one. Why don’t you drop those Dockers and give me a piece of that sweet ass?

Jack: What the hell happened at your reinstatement hearing? Jeffery Weinerslave said you put your fingers in his mouth?
Liz: Did I? Or did he put his mouth on my fingers? It’s going to take at least 6 weeks paid leave to get to the bottom of this.

Liz: I have met the most amazing group of women, Jack. They just live, and they spin every morning and they go to museums!

Liz: I have some money saved. Enough for 2 years, maybe 4 if I give up cable. So I’ll come back to the show in 4 years.

Liz: Oh god! There’s a spider nest in my yoga mat!

Tracy: Friendship and trust in the entourage are the most important things. Like that HBO show, John Adams.

Tracy: Heavy is the head that eats the crayons.

Jack: Jenna’s dead.
Pete: I don’t feel anything. What’s wrong with me?
Jack: No no. It’s a marketing ploy. For her new movie. But it means you won’t have her for a show on Friday. And you need to put together some sort of on air tribute.
Pete: We actually already have an obituary reel for Jenna. We put it together after she cheated on that mobster.

Liz: Eating right. Working out. Sleeping. Boy is anyone else BM-ing like a rockstar?

Tracy: Just think, an hour ago they were brawling in the parking lot. But tonight they’re going to be stars.

Liz: Charity work?
Woman 2: No. Charity work sucks.

Emily: Punch me in the face, Liz.
Liz: I’m sorry what?
Emily: You heard me. Punch me as hard as you can, and then I am coming at you like an animal.
Liz: Oh god, is this a fight club?!
Woman 3: The pain proves we’re alive.
Liz: Argh, this is very disappointing!

Jack: Jenna, what the hell are you doing here?
Jenna: Shh, they’re talking about me.

Jenna: A couple of gay guys are crying. Aw Jack, this is just the greatest night of my… WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!
Jack: That’s you what’s the problem?
Jenna: It has the year I was born on it. The real year. Not the actress year. Now a million people are going to know that I’m… f… f… f…

Jenna: Whole grain… low fat… But I just want a piece of that… But I just want to daaaaaance. Still alive not yet 32. Worth it. Sorry Jack.

Liz: I’m back.
Jack: What’d they turn out to be? Lesbians?
Liz: No, fight club.

Liz: I’m back nerds!

Ratings: 7.32 million viewers (4.3/7 Share. 3.5/9 in the demo.) Weekly Rank: #39

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