Originally Aired: April 29th, 2010
Written by: Josh Siegal & Dylan Morgan & Paula Pell
Directed by: Jeff Richmond

Summary: LIZ (TINA FEY) MUST DEAL WITH THE REPERCUSSIONS OF GRIZZ’S WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENT WHILE JENNA (JANE KRAKOWSKI) HAS A NEW BOYFRIEND AND JACK (ALEC BALDWIN) INHERITS A GIFT FROM HIS MENTOR. WILL FORTE GUEST STARS.
Wedding fever hits TGS, leaving Liz (Tina Fey) to sort out Grizz’s (Grizz Chapman) dilemma when both Tracy (Tracy Morgan) and Dot Com (Kevin Brown) want to be his best man. Jenna’s (Jane Krakowski) new boyfriend, Paul (guest star Will Forte), raises Liz and Pete’s (Scott Adsit) suspicions, while Jack (Alec Baldwin) is finally forced to deal with the death of his mentor, Don Geiss, when Geiss leaves him a strange but meaningful inheritance. Also starring: Jack McBrayer (Kenneth), John Lutz (Lutz), Marceline Hugot (Kathy Geiss).

Promotional Pictures: High Quality!

Quotes: 

Liz: I got my bridesmaids dress for Cerie’s wedding.  It’s a Vietnamese size 2.
Jack: Dressing up isn’t any easier for men.  Do you know what it’s like when a younger man shows up wearing the same cufflinks?  You might as well be invisible.
Liz: I’m not going to let this dress win.  This morning I joined …
Jack: …a suicide cult.
Liz: … a gym.

Liz: If the will says you have to spend the night in a haunted house, you better hope that everybody else there is black guys and sluts.

Jack: That boyhood sled he held so dear.  I believe he called it… Sleddy.

Liz: Any chance its one of those bendy hospital beds?
Jack: Maybe, he did have three.

Liz: He was such an amazing man.

Pete: Life is like TV.  Testing tells us that people like weddings, births and episodes where a character dies.
Liz: That’s dumb.
Crew: My heart… [dies]

Grizz: Um, I haven’t decided yet.
Tracy: “Um, I haven’t decided yet.”  You sound like my mother talking to the planned parenthood lady.

Liz: You are such a coward!
Pete: You think I care what you think!?

Jenna: Pete, there you are.  I heard one of your kids broke his arm.
Pete: Yeah the shed I built him on collapsed.
Jenna: Well is he ok?
Liz: What’s going on? Why are you being so happy and nice?  Are you soaking your tampons in vodka again?

Jenna: We’re not putting any labels on it yet, because the glue is abrasive.  But I’m really happy.

Liz: Remember when she dated that sniper?
[Flashback]
Jenna: And so it’s over.
Liz: Jenna, there’s a laser sight on you’re forehead.
Jenna: Oh please he’s not going to fire.  For god sakes, he’s scared of his own mother! Aren’t you Alan!

Pete: [Lifts shirt] Remember this break up, when she bit me!?
Liz: Pete!  That was like two years ago!
Pete: It just won’t heal!

Lawyer: I believe all have been accounted for.  His daughter, his lovely wife, his even lovelier mistress, his secret Canadian family, and his even more secret attic family.

Lawyer: “To my daughter Kathy, my bequeath me pocket watch” It comes with very specific instructions for care.  The most important of which is to not let the piece get wet.
Kathy: [Takes watch out of her mouth]

Grizz: I hope it wasn’t awkward for you when Tracy brought up my wedding.
Liz: Why would it be awkward?
Grizz: Because of our sexual past.
Liz: [Goes to close door.]
Grizz: Leave it open.  I’d feel safer.

Grizz: You know my every thought, Beth.  We really were the Sam and Diane of this place.

Pete: Pete Hornbeger, but you can call me Dallas.  [To Liz] This could be the start of something for me.

Liz: How did you guys meet?
Jenna: Through a mutual fund.
Paul: Friend, Jenna.
Jenna: Oh of course.  Through a friend fund.
Liz: Noted.  And what do you do for a living, Paul?
Paul: Oh well, I work for a bank.
Jenna: Well circus.  He works for a bankrupt circus.

Liz: He’s hiding something.
Pete: I’m guessing already married cat stranger

Liz: Hey can I just get this AH!! Living dinosaur!

Liz: Why did Don Geiss have a peacock?  Is that an NBC thing?

Jack: He and I would sit on the veranda of his home talking about business, politics, how to avoid getting paper cuts while making love on a pile of money.

Jack: Don and I had nicknames for each other.
Liz: Like we might some day, J-town?

Tracy: Damn it Grizz!  I knew you since you were six feet tall!  I’m gonna be your best man! I’m the leader of this entourage!  And because of you I’m having a tantrum!  Now pick up that table and smash it for me!

Paul: I’m just feeling the weight of Jenna’s jewelry on my fingerpads.

Liz:  Pete.  Pete!  Ugh. Dallas.
Pete: What’s up?

Pete: We should follow him!  I don’t care how long it takes!
Liz: What’s going on?  Your kids have a play tonight?
Pete: Oklahoma.  They couldn’t find cowboy hats big enough for my kids heads so their just wearing turbins.

Liz: Afterwards I’m going to the gym.
[Pete and crew laughs]
Liz: Words are the first step on the road to deeds!

Kenneth: Oh my, what a gorgeous swamp eagle.

Jack: He won’t eat any of the food I bought for him at the crazy rich person’s pet store.
Bag: “Branson’s Own Exotic Pet Food.  Indian Peafowl.

Kenneth: [Sniffs] He’s recently taken a mate.
Jack: Lemon.
Kenneth: Good luck, Argus.

Jack: He lives, or you die.
Kenneth: I was about to suggest the same thing.

Tracy: You watch your mouth before I show you the back of my hand.
Back of Tracy’s hand: “Please Be Nice to Me.”

Tracy: I don’t even want to be best man.  Why would I?  Show up on time?  Not loose a ring?  Keep my shirt on through a dinner?

Tracy: I’m trying to protect Dot Com, dummy.  He’s in love with Grizz’s fiancé, Feyonce.
Liz: You’re stutters back.
Tracy: No Grizz’s fiancé name is Feyonce, like Beyonce with an F.
Liz: Oh come on.

Liz: I can’t believe that you are using your infantile selfishness for good.  I’m impressed, Tracy.
Tracy: You think that’s impressive.  Watch me stand on one foot!  … Hang on I did it earlier.

Liz: Ugh I’m never going to fit in that dress.
Tracy: Bored!

Pete: Can I get five more beers here?  Names Dallas.

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen put your hands together for Ms. Janne Maloney.

Liz: Oh god.  I’m going to need five more cranberry juices over here!

Liz: I just found out Jenna is dating a guy who does a drag show, as her.
Jack: Lemon, what is with this food layout?  Kenneth says he needs some sumac bark and shrub yellow root to make a podgiest for Argus.
Liz: How is your thing weirder than mine?!

Jack: If we can put an ear on a mouse’s back, we can certainly make a peacock immortal.

Kenneth: Argus is sleeping.
Jack: And you left him alone?!  What if he rolls over on his back and his cloche fills with mucus?!

Liz: You’ll have to take the lead because I’m stretched pretty thin.
Kenneth: Well not New York thin.
[Liz slaps him]
Kenneth: Don’t worry.  I’m on it Ms. Lemon.  I mean Mrs. Argus.

Grizz: I’m too upset to talk.  Look at me.

Liz: [Reading Grizz’s note]  I’ve known Dot Com ever since we went to Above the Beanstalk, a free summer camp for giants.  I want him to be my best man and if you care about me you’ll respect my decision.  I will always be your, oh no I’m white, I can’t say that word. …Friend from the neighborhood.

Liz: I met Paul, interesting guy.  How much do you know about him?

Jenna: Well I lost a toe ring in him.  So I’d say a lot.

Jenna: How do you think we met?  Paul won a Jenna Maroney impersonation contest, at which I came in 4^th.
Liz: And now you’re dating him?
Jenna: That’s it.  Right there.  That face.  That is exactly what I didn’t tell you about Paul in the first place.  You’re judgmental badger face.

Dot Com: Liz, I’m in love with Grizz’s fiancé Feyonce.
Liz: Oh my god!  I didn’t know that!

Kenneth: Badger, It’s another badger.  The third badger has taken the bait.
Liz: Why is everyone code named badger?
Kenneth: I thought you said you wanted to do it this way.
Liz: No I said I didn’t care.

Paul: What am I getting out of this?  I’m the luckiest “shman” in the world.

Paul: My act?  I’d never tuck my penis again if she asked me.  All I want to do is spend my days listening to her talk, and sing and scream at her cleaning lady on the phone.

Liz: This situation is empirically weird, but I’m glad you’re happy.

Liz: Ew, Jenna, why are you grabbing his boobs?!

Liz: I’m going to speak frankly to you now.  And I can do that because of our sexual past.
Grizz: Damn Beth, let it go.

Liz: Love isn’t judgmental.  Love is patient.  Love is weird, and sometimes gross.  Love is illusive.  And you found it.  So treasure it.  And maybe don’t leave it alone with Dot Com.
Grizz: That was beautiful.  Look at me.  Crying like a baby.

Ratings: 5.439 Million Viewer. 3.3/5 Share. 2.7/8 in the Demo.

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