Originally Aired: November 18, 2010
Written by: Josh Siegal & Dylan Morgan
Directed by: Don Scardino

Summary:

JACK (ALEC BALDWIN) TRIES TO FIND A GLITCH IN GE’S NEW MICROWAVE DESIGN

Jack (Baldwin) worries that GE’s microwave sales have improved too much without his help and tries to find glitches in their newest design. Meanwhile, Liz (Tina Fey) partakes in a crew lottery despite Jenna (Jane Krakowski) and Tracy’s (Tracy Morgan) warning her not to do so. Elsewhere, the TGS writers discover that Jack is the voice of an online dictionary’s pronunciation guide. Also starring: Jack McBrayer, Judah Friedlander, Scott Adsit, Keith Powell and Katrina Bowden.

Fan Rating: 4.51 our of 5.0.

Promotional Pictures: High Quality

Quotes:

Jenna: Liz women wearing men’s watches is so over. The new thing is get an Adam’s apple.
Liz: My mom just had this fixed for me. It was my grandfathers. He worked for years at Union Station in DC… as a pickpocket.

Liz: What is this Jabba’s pleasure skiff?

Pete: It’s the crew lottery, Liz. You buy a card and if it gets picked you win a 1000 bucks. You get a tub of new suits from Suit Emporium, Kabletown guys notice you, your hair grows back, everything grows back!

Tracy: Your boos are not scaring me. I know most of you are not ghosts.

Liz: My card only has a one in fifty two chance of getting picked anyways.
Tracy: How did you know that. You’re like Rainman! Quick, how many toothpicks are on the ground?
Liz: 0.
Tracy: You need to go to Vegas.

Liz: Oh why is Toofer in the punishment corner?
Toofer: I said time to end the charade and adjust my schedule to buy a vase.
Liz: Ugh, you stay there. You stay there until you die.

Liz: No that can’t be Jack. Why would his voice be on some random website? It’s impossible.
Dictionary Jack: Lemon. Lesbian. Frankenstein. Wants. Her. Shoes. Back.
Liz: Oh my god it is him.

Jack: My first cover from my first year at the company, 1985. Ah, good times. Just out of frame there’s a wheelbarrow full of cocaine.

Liz: Why the trip down memory lame? Haha! High fiving a million angels.

Jack: I’ve been a GE man for 25 years. And a GE woman for one week of corporate espionage at Revlon.

Dictionary Jack: Those. Bastards.
Jack: Those bastards!
Liz: Who bastards?

Liz: So people can just by your voice?
Jack: Oh the things it’s been dragged into. Thomas the Tank Engine. Wu Tang songs.
Song: Uh. Yeah. Just like that. Make them clap. Make them clap.

Liz: I always forget you used to be poor.
Jack: Thank you.

Jack: I was up early every morning working my way through the dictionary for the linguistics department, sweeping the floors at Princeton’s monkey lab. It wasn’t the feces that got to you, Lemon. It was the crudely scrawled notes of “help me.”

Liz: The Fall of 1998. A young Liz Lemon enters the University of Maryland. Richard Marx haircut. Pilonidal cyst under control. It was magical times Jack.
Jack: Don’t worry about getting to your point. I’m going to live forever.
Liz: The registrar accidentally gave me a handicapped room. It was huge. And for two weeks it was party central. I was popular. People gave me nicknames. A blonde girl high fived me.

Jack: Lemon, that’s actually my thoughtful window spot. Visitors stare over here.

Pete: This is the lucky one. 4 of clubs. Paula’s nickname for my penis.

Jack: Lemon, can you make sense of this?
Liz: Well on some level, yeah. That’s a 4. That’s a 9.

Liz: You hired everyone there. If they succeeded it’s because of you.
Jack: Lemon, that’s the smartest thing you’ve ever said.
Liz: Really? What about three years ago when I said there should be more tv shows about cake?

Jack: Lemon please, money can’t buy happiness. It is happiness.

Dictionary Jack: I. Love. Unicorns.
Lutz: I told them not to. Let’s get out of here, Jack.
Jack: I’ll tell you what. Make me say anything you want. Get it out of your system.
Dictionary Jack: Obama. Is. Very. Presidential.
Jack: Alright enough!

Jack: Some of us had to spend their freshman years making those recordings. And leading a disastrous money revolt.

Liz: Usually everyone around here makes me feel like Hitler. But today I feel like Hitler in Germany.

Jenna: Wow I’d experiment with that girl.
Tracy: Too small.

Liz: I was popular for one glorious fortnight. Then it went away. I don’t know what I did wrong.
Tracy: You probably said fortnight.

Jenna: Everyone here has a role. I’m the hot blonde.
Tracy: And I’m the nerd who takes off his glasses and everybody realizes he’s handsome.

Dictionary Jack: Pete will you be my friend?
Pete: Friend? Sure of course. You know whenever I tell my wife a work story as she put it the other day, I smile more when I talk about you.
Dictionary Jack: I wish I was more of a free spirit like you. Now freestyle rap for me.
Pete: Rollin with my homie, me and Jackie D. Now bitches get ready for a sex party.

Liz: What? It’s me. The Lizard. You can start calling me that.
Chris: We appreciate what you did for the crew last night. But you left some people out.
Liz: What? The Blizzard wouldn’t do that. That’s another option.

Liz: It’s a surprise and who knows what it’s going to be? Only the Blisbian knows.

Jenna: This is why I hated my first two weeks at the Royal Tampa Academy of Dramatic Tricks. Nobody knew who was the sluttiest. But I showed them. I showed them all. And when we graduated a week later…

Tracy: Look at me, I’m Ogbert the nred. Always have been, always will be.

Tracy: My glasses are dirty.
Jenna: Oh Ogbert!

Jack: I’m your boss. I’m Jack Donaghy.
Raj: I’m sorry. Your names all sound the same to us, John Donovan.

Raj: Trivection? What is this 2009?

Jack: How many vections does it have?
Raj: 5.
Jack: [gasps]

Jack: My god.
Raj: Which one?

Jack: You’re going to wish you’d never been born.
Raj: Which time?

Kenneth: You know my uncle was a tinkerer, until the FBI shot him.

Kenneth: Sometimes a place can be so special to you it feels like it couldn’t possibly continue after you’re gone. But when I left Kentucky Mountain Bible College, it still kept going. Until it was shut down… because of the wolves.

Jack: What did you major in at that college?
Kenneth: Television studies with a minor in Bible sexuality.
Jack: So not psychiatry.

Jack: Stick your hand in there and see if you get a shock
Kenneth: [hand gets shocked] Ow! My hand!
Jack: Dammit, it was supposed to do that.

Liz: Oh hey somebody brought a dog to work. And it definitely doesn’t have any of its own waste on his feet.

Dictionary Jack: Pete, can I tell you a secret.
Pete: Of Course. I told you about my blankie.

Kenneth: Sir I was wrong about the hypothermia. I don’t even feel cold anymore. I don’t feel anything.

Microwave: Defrost Power. Time Pizza.
Jack: Oh really? That’s how much time is left? Pizza?

Kenneth: Sir, you have to let go. At least that’s what my nana is telling me from that tunnel of light behind you.
Jack: Kenneth, I’ve told you this before: Your nana is an idiot.

Lutz: Someone has to be that person! [whispering] Hey. Everyone stop. Listen to Lutz.

Jack: You know I’m not a delivery man. I’m wearing a suit and I’m carrying a microwave.

Jack: The point is my legacy here is
Microwave: Over. Done. Over. End.
Jack: That’s my voice.
Raj: You all sound the same to us Jacques Dungary.

Microwave: Goodbye, potato, goodbye.

Delivery Guy: Who ordered the greek salad?
Raj: Are we racist or do those guys look a lot alike?

Pete: I only had about 2 weeks of college before Paula got pregnant. Twice. She had overlapping pregnancies five months apart.

Jack: Hey pete, do you know Aqualung. [Pete plays guitar] Sitting on a park bench. I don’t know the words except park bench!

Chris: Did you give Tony your grandfather’s watch?
Liz: What? No. You can’t prove that.

Liz: If I see that filthy dog again, I will put it down. I will put it down with a smile. Back to work everyone!
Crew: [Boos]
Liz: I love you too. High giving a million angels.

Liz: I didn’t think anybody would be in here. I mean, I brought you guys a pizza.

Jack: Pete and I are having a little college night.
Liz: Oh yeah you want to see me shotgun this?
Jack: Oh god! She means the pizza!
Pete: She’s unhinging her jaw!

Jack Donaghy had promised his pregnant girlfriend he wouldn’t drink. He spent the night on a couch that cost more than your car.

Later that night, Liz Lemon’s pilonidal cyst returned. It is currently her best friend.

Kenneth Parcell briefly died on Jack’s balcony. He came back with a message from God that he has forgotten.

Ogbert ‘Tracy’ Jordan went on to invent a new kind of borkulator.

Ratings: 5.112 Million Viewers. 3.1/5 HH Share.  2.2/6 in the 18-49 Demo.

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